Arguing for UBI? Here’s what your opponents won’t say out loud.

Disturbing thought experiment. Does it ring true? Let me know.

"Dear UBI proponent:

My deflections, obfuscations, and overall shell-ball-game aren't working, and you've cornered me into what seems like a logically unsupportable position.

So I might as well save us all a lot of time, cut the B.S. and tell you what's going on since you're so pushy and can't take a polite hint:

I fully admit that humankind is now past the point when someone's success requires another's suffering.

And yet, I still like knowing that others suffer, have lost, and will continue to lose, and indeed, in many cases, have no prayer of winning – and through no fault of their own.

I am well off, a winner in the game of capitalism. Yet knowing that others have lost and are suffering brings me joy in many facets of life, not least of all, the games of mating and status.

I want to keep it this way, not because society must, but because, well, it feels good.

(“UBI Opponent on Truth Serum” by Stella Stillwell)

And while I’m at it, let me further admit that obviously I do not value ALL human life intrinsically, and also, that the suffering of certain people simply does not bother me.

Why should I have to relinquish the joy of being one of the relatively lucky ones? Why would I want a world full of happy self-actualized people who can claim to be as comfortable and fulfilled as me? What's in that for me?

Nothing but a lack of the relative dominance that I currently enjoy. Nothing but more competition for mates. Nothing but more people with more free time, working on things they love, living up to their full potential, and making me feel smaller. Why would I want that?

I’d rather keep most people desperate long after we need to. That's why I'm not too fond of your UBI idea. It's not because we can't afford it. You've proven we can.

It's not because it'll make people lazy and thwart innovation. On the contrary, you've proven it won't.

It's not because businesses will raise prices, making UBI a wash. On the contrary, you've proven the opposite will happen.

It's not because it will trap people in the lower class. On the contrary, you've proven it's far superior to the current system concerning motivation, goal attainment and upward mobility.

It's not because the payout is too small to make a difference. On the contrary, you've proven it's enough to open up a world of opportunities for millions of marginalized wage-slaves.

It's not because I want a small government and the protection of my freedoms. On the contrary, you've proven that UBI makes government smaller by removing the gigantic welfare infrastructure. Plus, you’ve amply proven that I'd probably not only be poor but dead if the government didn't step up to promote the general welfare in all the ways that laissez-faire fails, and that inequality, market instability, and environmental damage do indeed run amok without a democratic constitutional republic stepping in to stop the powerful from committing unconstitutional human rights abuses.

It's not because I believe in economic freedom, as I recognize that people in poverty suffer not due to bad choices but due to systemic inequalities and the stress of survival.

It's not because UBI won't work. You've shown me the studies: Every basic-income pilot or program has worked with flying colors. It didn't cause people to sit home stoned watching Netflix. It instead led to increased employment, health, and well-being, across the board, with absolutely zero downsides to the rest of the community.

That's why my refusal to support UBI is not for any of those reasons you so willingly, thoroughly, and annoyingly disputed for the past several years.

IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS:

I want most people to suffer in meaningless jobs so that I can look and feel regal or godlike in comparison. I want to feel virtuous, and I want to see them as lacking in character. I want to believe in free will instead of causality and circumstance. I want to take credit for my good luck, and I want others to take the blame for their bad luck.

I want to feel unearned hubris. And I want others to feel unjustified shame.

Of course, I know my privilege came from luck, but I don't care. If my success is not a result of a silver spoon, it's from my genetics colliding with circumstances, neither of which I chose.

I don't care that much about human life as it pertains to certain people. So let them suffer needlessly; let them claw, scrape, and climb all over each other in what amounts mostly to futility and waste, with one or two occasional lucky winners.

(“Future Starving Writer” by Stella Stillwell)

Then, let those winners be fruitful and multiply to fill the world with schemers, backstabbers, and hoarders. More people like me. Because you never see a winner who, upon winning, wants to share. The only proponents of UBI are poor and lazy people. Rich people hate it, and we hate you. Die for all I care, but only after you clean my toilet. It makes me happier to know your life is a pale shadow of what it could have been and that mine is an embarrassment of riches I don't even know how to begin to deploy because nothing fills the gaping hole in my heart. You can tell people I said all this, but I'll deny, deny, deny."